an unsettling thought

I just finished reading Confessions of a Pagan Nun last night, & when I came to the end, I couldn't believe how strongly I felt about it. Here are a few passages that have stuck w/ me:

"I have learned many things since I came to Brigit's chapel & read the letters & scriptures of the saints. I will give here the sum of the facts I have seen concerning the transformation in this land since Christians have come here, in case they not be recorded by another hand:

-1st, improvements in tools & methods used for husbandry
-2nd, increase in varieties & hardiness of plants & domestic animals
-3rd, decrease in violence between tuaths & in the taking of hostages
-4th, increase in literacy & knowledge of the world
-5th, increase in the distance between the rick & the poor, the latter increasing in numbers while the former increase in wealth
-6th, decrease in the influence & freedom of women, whose councils exist no longer & whose property has been diminished
-7th, increase in cruelty to the land & disregard for its power & beauty"

It hurts me to think that the world's slow decline to what we now have is, in my opinion, a disregard for its power & beauty.

"Surely a wise leader would see the benefits of marrying old wisdom to new devices, of scorning intolerance & dogma while embracing the new heroes & rituals, which have such pretty sounds & good influence. I would live in a world full of Christ-like humans, but not one full of Christians, may God forgive me."

"Whoever reads this, do not be told what to do to receive grace. You know in your heart..."

"I long for the times when a man's head was severed because another man wanted what he had. Here is a direct motive. I had thought that the love of Christ would make us kinder & less likely to smash skulls. But now I see that we will be asked to smash skulls for Christ."

Those passages stick with me, as does this final thought. The main character of this story, Gwynneve, was a pagan that lied about being baptized to enter the chapel to have a peaceful life of reading & transcribing. She was eventually condemmed as a witch & thrown down a water well. Here is something that haunts me: I am also a pagan, & I work for Catholic Charities. I have also worked for the YMCA, & though it shouldn't shock me to think about it, I was also condemmed there (for having depression), & forced to quit. It's an unpleasant thread to follow. I hope things don't repeat themselves.

something weird is going on

... I'm interested in politics? Quoi! Non, non! Je ne comprends pas. Oh, but it's true:

"The price of lowered expectations is heightened anxiety," so sayeth Jonathan Alter of Newsweek. & that's goddamned right. Why did Americans willingly settle for someone who had to trick the public into liking him? "After the excruciatingly close 2000 election, President Bush pretended that he had won a big mandate. This was understandable politically, but artificial. The cocky Texas affect was a cover for deep familial insecurity, but it worked until Americans ran into trouble."

*sigh* Are we a natation of "too little, too late," when it comes to realizing just what we've done? Who in their right mind thinks that there is nothing wrong w/ buying a half-million dollar home on a $40k annual sallary? I'm just as confused as Alter is in his article. WTF, America? WTF. As much as it sucks admiting it, I had to suck it up when I was laid off from work. No job meant no income, & what do you do then? You move in w/ family; you take the help that's offered. That's right. As independant as I am, as I've always been, I finally agreed to accepting help. What does it matter if a republican or a democrat is offering it? YOU TAKE IT WHEN YOU NEED IT! As my grandfather always said, you smile & say thank you.

Here's what I'm saying thank you for:

-Obama is urging lawmakers to reduce emmissions of greenhouse gases. He's calling for $15b a year in federal spending to spur development of envionronmentally friendly energy sources. (It's about time someone other than Al Gore worked on this problem.)
-Making education important. Obama is asking every American to commit to completing a year or more of higher education or career training. (How can we expect the world to look up to "Mighty America" if we are a nation of dumbasses who can't pass a test to graduate? If we drop out when things get too hard? If we can't see the value in understanding things from another's prospective, in learning about our immediate environment & how our decisions impact the world?)
-Healthcare. Hello? As someone who's been w/out medical insurance for over two years, that's an important issue. How can a person have hope for the future if they have nothing to protect them from illness? Your life if your future! Protect that first.
-Getting the fuck out of Iraq. That, almost intirely, would cut federal spending by $500b. & republicans say that dems overspend. How can YOU justify a $1.3 TRILLION deficit? Hmm?

Okay. I guess that 's enough for a first post of the day. But really? America, you should be ashamed at what we've become. I haven't been exactly proud to be an American for quite some time. Maybe that can finally change. I don't like living in a place where I am embarassed & have to make excuses to the world. I mean, I even struggle to admit that I was born on the Fourth of July. How's that for irony?